HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
