you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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