ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Someone signed my nipple.
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