I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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