Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
