i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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