I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
