Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
