my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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