I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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