Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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