Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
