Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
