At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
