you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
