My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We need a shit load of segways right now
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
