I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I should be sponsored by Trojan
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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