Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Drunk is a universal language darling
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