Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
