dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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