yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
