with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
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