my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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