the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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