Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
