i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
