Me. At least after what I've been through.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
