Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
