i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
