dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
