I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
