I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
