HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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