we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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