I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
third nipple confirmed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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