I want to stick my p in your. b.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Mom said you looked used
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
