she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
