How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
