well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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