Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
