I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
