STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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