don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
