Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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