We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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