How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
