smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
