Your dad touched me again.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
