it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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