he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
