Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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