He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
