Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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