Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
How does one acquire holy water?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
