You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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