Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
