He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
