Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
