I need help removing her.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
