the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
